February 2008

A friend recently spoke to me about a difficult professional decision she had been wrestling with for several months. The issue had an ethical component as well as practical financial implications. My suggestion to her was that she discuss the situation with her Spiritual Director.

I mention this because I would like to introduce spiritual direction to those of you for whom this is a new concept. Simply put, it is an opportunity to explore one’s inner, spiritual life in the presence of a trained, compassionate listener. To that end, the name “spiritual direction” is misleading, since the listener is not actually “directing” the conversation or the outcome. That’s why other names have been suggested for this activity, such as “spiritual guide” and “spiritual companion.” None of these names is exactly accurate yet each captures an aspect of the listener’s role: a spiritually mature and experienced person who can help the seeker look deeper into his or her inner life.

Our souls yearn for something beyond the mundane. As a flower turns toward the sun, so do our souls turn toward light -- whether we call this God, or the Divine, the transcendent, or the highest moral standards. Yet how often do we actually talk aloud about the yearnings and desires of our innermost selves? With whom can we examine what is personally true for us about God? How do we seek ways to foster our spiritual growth? When do we take the time to discover the deeper meaning of ordinary events in our lives?

Spiritual Direction offers the opportunity to explore these kinds of questions, which is why I invited my friend to talk to her Spiritual Director about her professional decision. Through that conversation, she could base her decision on compassion and ethics rather than ego; she would be more likely to make a decision that would best nourish her soul. Her director might encourage her to explore what she felt God wanted of her in this situation.

Generally one meets with a Spiritual Director once a month for an hour. This is an ongoing relationship; some people have had the same director for many years. It’s not about problem solving or addressing the kinds of issues one might bring to therapy. Rather it is based on the directee’s desire to have a companion and a forum for nurturing his or her spiritual life.

My friend had this kind of ongoing relationship, and it was within that context that over a period of several months she explored her heart’s desire and her soul’s yearnings in relation to her professional decision. Decisions made in this way generally lead to the most empowering and the most enlivening outcome, as well as the most deeply satisfying.

I first heard about Spiritual Direction about ten years ago. Although part of Christian spiritual practice for many centuries, in the past several decades Spiritual Direction has become recognized and practiced in the Jewish world. It took several years for me to work up the courage find a director, but once I did I was hooked! My life is incomparably richer for this ongoing experience. Moreover, after “being in Direction” for a year I decided I wanted to become a Spiritual Director myself, a three-year training process I completed in 2004.

If Spiritual Direction sounds like something that would be of interest to you and you would like to discuss it further, I welcome your inquiry.

L’Shalom,

Rabbi Helen